What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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