Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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