Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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