My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
