You're completely useless in the revolution.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
