I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm at about main and main street
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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