did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pants are for mortals
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