if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize