fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
