i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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