Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
