im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
