get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
