do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
