I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
