Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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