yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
