It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize