I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
