it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
