dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
