its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
A+ Viking dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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