it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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