Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize