Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
pray to the hookup gods
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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