considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
