well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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