YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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