It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize