I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
