Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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