But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
