Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
this beer tastes like vomit already
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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