I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
