im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
