I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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