He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
