Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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(410): View more from Maryland

So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.

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(678): View more from Georgia

i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!

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