You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
