I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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