the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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