Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
