What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A+ Viking dick
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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