I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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