He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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