Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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