GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
