i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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