Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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