You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize