I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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