Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
