smell my finger.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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