U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
