oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
