I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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