idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
