Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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