Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize