Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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