I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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