would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
