Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
