whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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