omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
