Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
