Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just want to make out with him forever
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
