I am in a vortex of obligation.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
