names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
