He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You need a sexual gate keeper
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
