Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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