in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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