It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
