and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
