; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
