break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
