Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize