I want to have your abortion
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize