Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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